DOMA be damned!

a timeline of Perry and Raina's gay adventure through the wonderful world of spousal immigration

Want to see the immigration process through the eyes of a (super-cute) couple of queer people?;xNLx;Use this interactive calendar to learn more about us and our adventure! ;xNLx;**colors represent different themes;xNLx;***use the bottom bar to scroll forward and back through time!;xNLx;;xNLx;If you don't already know us, we're a bi-national same-sex couple living in beautiful Portland, Oregon. One of us is a Brit with an expiring work/education visa and one is a born-and raised midwesterner. Thanks to the Supreme Court repeal of DOMA on June 26th, 2013, we get the equal opportunity to embark on the awesome trip of filing for a Green Card through the US immigration system...;xNLx;Wish us luck! Get in touch! Click on photos to expand them! Help if you can by visiting DOMA Be Damned on GoFundMe.com

2005-12-13 00:00:00

Perry moves to the US on a student visa

"I entered the US on a student visa and began at Portland Community College. I knew people in Portland through technodyke.com (a online forum started in 2000) and already had a community to join when I arrived. I was 25 and had moved & traveled all over the world, I was feeling ready to find somewhere I belonged. Portland felt like a great place for me from the start."

2008-03-10 00:00:00

Perry writes for qpdx.com

"I wrote for the volunteer-driven LGBTQ news blog QPDX.COM for a year. I got a chance to talk about immigrant rights during this time and built a lot of the relationships we're calling on now to support us through this media work!

2008-04-11 13:52:48

We "meet" for the first time

Someone in the audience with a hot British accent & a tie (Perry!) asks an interesting question of the funny & smart presenter with the cute butt (Raina!) during the Q&A of a terminology workshop at the LGBTQ Meaningful Care Conference. Years later, Perry describes to Raina what she was wearing the day of the conference (creepy?? cute?? you decide!!)

2008-06-15 00:00:00

PCC Graduation--end of student Visa 1

"I had a horrible school experience in Germany and never imagined excelling in school or student leadership but I here I was, graduating with an associates degree! The future seemed uncertain, however. I didn't know whether I was going to be able to continue my education and complete my bachelor's degree because I didn't have enough money. I applied for a one year work permit, however, called OPT."

2008-06-15 00:00:00

Raina's foundation for understanding immigration

Aside from her formal education about the immigration system in her Antioch College classes, Raina worked in many of her jobs with teens from immigrant families (some documented and some not). While working at the Sexual Minority Youth Resource Center (SMYRC), she tried to beef up her knowledge in regards to one of her youth leader's ability to travel and work in the US... She cared(cares!) deeply for this student and it was an important first introduction to the red tape and extreme limitations of our current system. >>>"Having some of the language and basics down made learning about Perry's situation later a lot easier to understand!"

2008-09-01 00:00:00

"Optional Practical Training" Visa lets Perry stay

"I was legally allowed to work for a year. During this year I got the amazing news that I was accepted to Reed College in Portland with a FULL RIDE SCHOLARSHIP!"

2011-09-01 13:52:48

thesis about queer photography sets scene for romance

"In my final year of Reed, I did my thesis on photography & queer communities. A big part of my thesis was examining the work of local photographer Ally Picard of Bloodhound Photography. Ally and Raina happen to be close friends, and I nearly used pictures of Raina in rad costumes in my paper!"

2012-05-05 13:52:48

Perfect timing: Raina & Perry get introduced at a show!!!!!!!

"Raina's bestie Ally Picard was running a photobooth at The Shondes show, where we both knew band members. I'd been in touch with Ally about her photos, which I had used in the thesis I had JUST finished, and so I went over to say "Hi". I noticed Raina immediately, and we started talking...at the end of the conversation I asked her out on a date, and she said yes!" ... "Thank god I was single! I thought Perry was really young when we were introduced because they were talking about a Reed thesis! My major in college and academic interests perfectly meshed with Perry's and we immediately launched into a fascinating conversation in the middle of a crowded audience. Talking a few inches from each others faces wasn't so bad..."

2012-05-15 00:00:00

Perry graduates from Reed & files for 2nd O.P.T.

"I graduated from Reed after three years. What a ride!" It was time to move out of the southeast and cross fingers that the OPT visa would come through...

2012-05-16 19:00:00

FIRST DATE!!!

Perry--"We went on our first date and it was magical. We went for a hike on Mt. Tabor (an extinct volcano!) we walked around in the sunshine, and couldn't stop talking to each other...the best first date ever." >>>Raina "Yup!"

2012-05-21 19:00:00

Perry goes to Europe for a month

"On our first date I had to tell Raina I was leaving a few days later - I had booked a trip to spend a few weeks with my family in Europe. This was a good test for us; would we maintain contact while I was gone? Would we still be interested in dating each other after I had come back? The answer was clear: OF COURSE."

2012-07-14 00:00:00

Perry gets O.P.T. Visa for the second time

"I applied for another year of OPT, (optional practical training, a work permit that cannot be renewed) and it was granted in July of 2012. I started working at a local college running a low-income transportation access program. A very exciting time!"

2012-07-14 00:00:00

some falling in love happens

Camping trips, dinners, walks around the city, cute bike rides, barbeques, makin' out...things on the romance front are pretty great! Scatter in there some hard conversations handled well, starting to support each other through some trying personal issues, and you've got more mounting proof that we're a pretty sweet match.

2012-09-13 13:00:00

"getting serious" about our future/ immigration

"We had to talk seriously about my immigration situation and the obstacles I was facing. Raina needed to know that I might not be able to stay in Portland, and I wanted to be honest with her about the future."

2013-03-27 17:04:54

1st TV interview at the supreme court trial rally

"We got interviewed on the news by a local reporter - I had no idea I talk that fast!" You can watch the whole interview here. http://www.kgw.com/home/Oregons-same-sex-marriage-supporters-rally-200086841.html

2013-03-27 17:04:54

"Who's doing this work locally?" We wonder

Where are the local binational same-sex couples or advocacy groups?? We felt completely alone in on immigration island at the rally and our lack of contacts, support (legal and emotional) became more and more apparent as the clock ticked down and the Supreme Court debated. >>>Raina "Our friends and family have been amazing and are still learning a lot, but we were hungry for some camaraderie and advice. This spring we started to plan seriously about how to find and help other couples in a similar situation." This timeline, our website, and fundraising page are hopefully just a start!! (see "future" for more planz)

2013-05-15 13:00:00

Raina and Perry get engaged

"On our anniversary we went out for a beautiful picnic in one of Raina's favourite parks, and she asked me if I wanted to get engaged! I said YES!"

2013-05-17 10:00:00

A lot of horrible waiting for DOMA Decision...

Waiting for weeks for the Supreme Court to decide on the future of our relationship was pretty much the worst. THE WORST. Raina--"I wouldn't wish that stress on any couple, it was so heartbreaking to imagine Plan B."

2013-06-26 10:00:00

DOMA is struck down!!!!!!!!!! WOOOO HOOOOO!!!!!!

DOMA FALLS. The pathway to getting Perry a green card through our relationship is open! We spend the morning CELBRATING!!

2013-06-26 17:04:54

2nd TV interview at DOMA celebration rally

Our local KGW news did a follow-up piece about us when we ran into the reporter at the celebration rally! CUTE!!

2013-07-06 00:00:00

We Got Our Washington State Marriage License!

In Washington, you have to apply for a marriage license like permit--there's a three-day waiting period before you can have a ceremony anywhere in WA.

2013-07-18 17:04:54

PQmonthly publishes great article about us!

We were really happy to be interviewed by Erin Rook for an article on PQmonthly, Portland's LGBTQ newsmedia hub! LINK HERE :)

2013-08-01 14:44:25

Wedding Planning!

Raina "Technically, it's called "eloping" but we're calling it "small marriage" with "big marriage" TBA. STAY TUNED FOR BIG PARTY.

2013-08-01 14:44:25

Lots of work Fundraising and Working on this timeline :)

we made a site on Go Fund Me to help defray the high cost of the immigration process, made this timeline for YOU! and have been recording youtube videos about our process in the hopes of sharing our story & knowledge.

2013-08-09 06:37:21

*** Wedding Day ****

We got married on a big rock in the Washougal River on a really beautiful friday afternoon. Our good friend and minister, A Burton performed the ceremony as a handful of our closest friends witnessed. It was misty in the morning an sunny by the afternoon...we (literally) jumped off a cliff together afterwards!

2013-08-11 06:37:21

GATHERING INFORMATION AND LEGAL ADVICE

After we tied the knot, we were finally able to file for a green card and a work permit--BUT HOW? For weeks we borrowed books, asked friends for referrals, asked facebook, researched online, called and emailed lawyers...all with one big question: Can we file on our own? Is it really possible? Is the money we'd save worth the work we'll have to do?

2013-08-11 06:37:21

Searching for an affordable LGBT immigration lawyer

We need someone knowledgeable about gay partnerships AND immigration, Because this is the first time same-sex couples have had access to the immigration system, there aren't a lot of easy leads. Oh yeah, and we would really like to find someone pro-bono!

2013-08-11 06:37:21

LEGAL CONSULTATIONS--THANK GOODNESS

LOTS of research and a LOT of favors and referrals from friends and friends-of-friends got us (mostly) GREAT legal advice!

2013-08-11 06:37:21

New Friends Lend us advice +Their Own Paperwork

Raina's new coworker and his wife JUST went through this crazy process and offered to lend us their forms to follow as a guide! They filed themselves after paying for a $400 "workshop" that was a series of consults with a local immigration lawyer. Their details were different in some ways, but in others just looking at which "applicant" each form meant was SO helpful. THANK YOU IAN + RUBA!!

2013-08-20 06:37:21

Sudden Emergency: Perry gets bad news about Mom's cancer.

Perry's mom (in Hamburg Germany) has been in various stages of breast cancer treatment for years. She was just diagnosed with tumors in her cerebral fluid (brain) and needs to undergo more risky treatment. Her condition is suddenly deteriorating and her prognosis is unclear, so Perry is desperate to visit her as soon as possible. All the information we've gathered says that leaving the country BEFORE your biometrics appointment or receiving an Advance Parole document to travel means you've "abandoned your case". This would mean losing our $1400+ filing fees and all our work, original documents, etc...

2013-08-21 21:59:42

If Perry had to leave before we got Advance Parole...

Abandoning filing from within the US would also mean we would have to file with Perry abroad, through a consulate, which could take a year+... Perry would potentially not be able to get a visa to visit the US during that time (because we are legal spouses) as we could be seen as having "immigration intent" aka a risk to stay illegally.

2013-08-27 13:52:48

Collecting Required Documents as quickly as we can

Birth certificates, 3 years of (official) tax receipts, 6 months of paystubs, Perry's name change paperwork, a certified copy of our marriage certificate, a copy of our lease, shared bank account info, literally a dozen passport photos...the list goes on!! Each of these takes time and money to process, hoops to jump through, it's a lot of work!

2013-09-03 13:52:48

Obtaining + translating Perry's mom's medical documents

If you need to travel because of a medical emergency, you need to provide proof for USCIS. In our case, this meant medical records (in German) from Perry's mom's many doctors and getting certified English translations. At first*, Perry contacted several German translators. Many gave VERY expensive quotes, so we were shocked when one offered to translate the document we sent for FREE because she grew up in the neighboring town (and had a lot of empathy for Perry's situation). Small kindnesses and offers made this whole difficult process so much more emotionally bearable. * We learned after this first letter that you can translate your own documents! You have to provide a signed statement that you are fluent in both languages, we found examples online.

2013-09-10 02:15:00

FILED OUR PAPERWORK!! AHHHHH

from the FedEx kinkos at 2:15AM, we mailed our paperwork away (after kissing it farewell, sprinkling it with magic, checking it over a score of times...). WHEW, what a crazy feeling!!!!!!!!

2013-09-10 13:52:48

Alternate Future: FORCED DEPARTURE DATE

September 10th is the last full day Perry could be legally in the US after OPT! i.e. Perry would've had to fly out on 9/11 and say goodbye to Raina and Portland indefinitely. Dreaded September 2013 has been looming over us both since we first discussed the options available for Perry's VISA..."The thought of having to separate in the beginning of fall, 2 weeks before my birthday, when we've only just begun a really special, promising, rewarding relationship was HEARTBREAKING." If DOMA hadn't been repealed, this would've been our only option: Perry leaves, moves alone to Europe (probably Hamburg to start) applies for gradschool from abroad, puts life in Portland on hold, and maintains our relationship via Skype and expen$ive visits. Because DOMA's repeal was so unsure, we literally had to close our minds to counting on being together after September. IT WAS AWFUL.

2013-09-11 13:52:48

Scheduling InfoPass appointments online

An InfoPass appointment is your chance to speak with an immigration official face-to-face. You can ask questions and (in our case) request that your case be expedited because of a medical emergency. You make these appointments online and they have to be scheduled a ways out (2 weeks in our case), so we got the advice to try to NOT WAIT and time the appointment with the (hopeful) arrival of our receipts...

2013-09-11 16:48:53

FedEx reports our paperwork Delivered to Chicago!

2013-09-16 21:59:42

USCIS Text Messages +Emails Raina: Application Received

OUR FORMS ARE IN SOMEONE'S HANDS AT USCIS!!!!

2013-09-19 16:48:53

We Got Our Receipts (Form i-797c)

our application is OFFICIALLY PENDING

2013-09-24 13:52:48

1st InfoPass Appointment--NERVEWRACkING + AWESOME

this was our chance to plead our case with someone at USCIS, in hopes of getting the biometrics appointment moved up and Perry an Advance Parole document to make travel home possible. We are SO THANKFUL for the following tips we received about the appointment: bring copies of all documents, bring 2 EXTRA passport photos, know that they can *literally* go downstairs to biometrics to help get your appointment rescheduled.

2013-09-24 13:52:48

!!!ADVANCE PAROLE DOCUMENT AWARDED!!! HUGE RELIEF

They made the Advance Parole document RIGHT THERE on the spot! After briefly summarizing our situation to the USCIS worker, she told us she was going to get her supervisor so they could review our case and see what they can do. The supervisor looked at all our pending receipts, medical translations and originals, and our biometrics appointment form and asked us questions about our filing status and Perry's mom's condition. He took these, and Perry's passport photos, and went to "check on some things" and sent us to the waiting area. After (a VERY long) ten minutes, he returned to tell us A) they could issue an Advance Parole document valid until 12/31/2013, and B) we could reschedule the biometrics appointment for a later date if Perry needed to leave immediately. WOW. We couldn't believe how friendly, simple, and well the whole appointment went. We were in and out of the building, miraculous document in hand, in ONE HOUR. UNBELIEVABLE RELIEF.

2013-09-27 13:52:48

2nd Infopass appointment (we cancelled)

Upon recommendation from one of our legal consults, we had scheduled a second infopass appointment in case a) the receipts had not arrived for our fist.Or b) the first appointment did not go well/we didn't get knowledgeable or sympathetic service. We had been told that if we needed to, we could ask for a supervisor. We cancelled this appointment because the first went so well!

2013-10-07 13:52:48

Perry's Biometrics Appointment...

...took a total of 15 minutes! Fingerprinting and self-reported height, weight, eyecolor. Crazy that it cost $85... They stamp your appointment form as proof that you showed up!

2013-10-08 13:52:48

Perry finally gets to buy a ticket home to visit mum

2013-10-15 13:52:48

Perry leaves for Germany trip

2013-12-15 13:52:48

EAD Card Arrives?? (combined work card permit/advanced parole card)

60-90 days after filing is when the work card arrives! USCIS now issues combo EAD (work) + Advanced Parole documents

2014-01-10 13:52:48

Immigration interview??

Like any couple applying for a spousal greencard, we'll have to go to an interview (usually 6-9 months after applying) to determine that we're in a "bona fide marriage". Sharing intimate pictures, stories, personal information with a stranger who works for the US government is just one of the joys of becoming a US citizen!

2014-04-20 12:33:00

HOPEFUL FUTURE: Green Card Arrives!??!?

"It can take 9months (like a baby!! but in some cases even longer) for the green card to arrive, but hopefully it will be here sooner. This will mean no more work or travel restrictions - ever!"

DOMA be damned!

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